DUPED DAD SEEKING HELP!!!!!!

[DADDYSHERE74]

I HAD FOUND OUT A YEAR AND A HALF AGO THAT NEITHER MY SON NOR DAUGHTER WERE MINE BIOLOGICALLY. I HAD BEEN TIPPED OFF BY ONE OF MY EX'S FRIENDS THAT THEY WERE NOT MINE AND THAT MY EX KNEW ALL ALONG. SO NOW I STAND THE CHANCE OF LOSING MY RIGHTS AS A FATHER. I BROKE UP WITH MY EX IN EARLY 2006, I HAD FOUND SOME ONE ELSE IMMEDIATELY OR I'D PROBABLY STILL BE THERE. MY EX DID NOT TAKE IT WELL. SHE STARTED TELLING THE KIDS THAT DADDY LEFT THEM FOR SOMEONE ELSE AND THAT DADDY WAS BEING DADDY TO SOMEONE ELSES CHILD.AS ALSO GOT ME FIRED FROM MY JOB BY SLEEPING WITH MY EMPLOYER AND BEST FRIEND, THEY'RE NOW ENGAGED. SHE HAS CALLED DYFS ON MY GIRLFRIEND, SHE HAS FILED NUMEROUS HARASSMENT CHARGES ON ME, EVEN A TRO. THEY ALL WERE THROWN OUT. SHE HAS MADE EVERY ATTEMPT TO DISCREDIT ME, BECAUSE SHE KNEW WHAT WAS COMING, THE DNA RESULTS. NOW THE COURTS ARE TELLING ME THAT IF I DON'T PAY THAT I'M LOSING MY RIGHTS AS A FATHER. I LOVE THESE CHILDREN VERY MUCH AND WOULD CONTINUE IN THEIR LIVES, BUT AT WHAT COST. I MEAN I AM TRYING TO START A NEW LIFE AND I WON'T BE ABLE TO DO THAT WITH ALL THE ARREARS AND WHAT THEY WANT. I WANT JUSTICE. EVERY LAWYER THAT I CALL WON'T EVEN TAKE MY CASE AND THE ONE THAT WOULD WANTS $5,000 UP FRONT, I DON'T HAVE THIS KIND OF MONEY. NOW MY EX KNOWS MY POSITION AND IS THREATENING TO CONTACT THE REAL FATHER AND TOYING WITH MY EMOTIONS EVEN MORE, I'M A COMPLETE WRECK HALF THE TIME AND REALLY CAN'T EVEN ENJOY THE TIME I DO GET WITH THE KIDS. I DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH MORE MY GIRLFRIEND CAN TAKE OR ME FOR THAT MATTER. IF I GO IN TO COURT AND JUST SIGN OFF THEN MY EX WILL REALLY GET VINDICTIVE AND REALLY SCREW WITH ME, AND I WON'T HAVE A LEG TO STAnd ON. I KNOW I HAVE A GREAT CASE AGAINST HER AND I'D LIKE TO SUE FOR FRAUD, EMOTIONAL, AND WHATEVER ELSE I CAN. I THOUGHT IN THE BEGINNING THAT I COULD DO THIS ON MY OWN BUT I SEE NOW THAT I CAN'T. CAN ANYONE HELP ME SEEK JUSTICE, I DON'T HAVE ALOT TO GIVE UP FRONT, IT WOULD BE NICE IF THERE WAS A PRO BONO LAWYER I COULD FIND BUT IT SEEMS LIKE THIS CASE WOULD BE JUST TOO MUCH WORK! I'M OUT ANSWERS. ANY AND ALL HELP WILL BE MUCH APPRECIATED AND THANK YOU!

[DADDYSHERE74]

MY DAUGHTER IS 8 AND MY SON IS 6 SO YOU CAN SEE THAT I HAVE A CONSIDERABLE AMOUNT OF EMOTION ATTACHED! EVEN IF SOME ONE KNOWS OF A GROUP THAT MAY BE ABLE TO HELP IT WOULD BE APPRECIATED!!

[KC405]

You are going to need a lawyer to help you with this. The only thing I can suggest is (1) You can try calling Legal Services of NJ at 888-576-5529 and explain your situation or (2) call the Administrative Office of The Courts at 609-984-1560. The compile lists of lawyers that do Bro Bono work in all counties. Explain your situation and they should help you. Let me know what happened.

[DADDYSHERE74]

I'LL TRY THOSE #S ON MONDAY, THANX ! YEAH I THOUGHT I COULD DO THIS ON MY OWN BUT I'M STARTING TO SEE THAT THIS IS GOING TO BE MORE THAN I CAN HANDLE!

[candihoffman]

I feel what you are saying and I applaud that you want to step up. I do feel that you have no DNA to these kids let them go. Your x is using them to get from you. Move on and start a new life. It will make her mad but you will be free and able to start over. these kids are not your kids, they are another mans. You did not adopt them. What she did is a horrible nasty thing and she will reap what she sews. GOOD LUCK with what ever you decide to do.

[RCM321]

I'm not sure but I thought NJ has a law that carries back to old English law. If a man is living with a woman and she becomes pregnant then the man is responsible for the child’s well being whether he is the father or not. Oprah had a guy on about 15 years ago who was in this situation and he lost in court when he challenged this.

[drcoastline]

RCM321 you are correct.

Once you assume the role of "father" you are bound financially even if the biological father is identified. Unfortunately, being legally responsible does not give you any rights to visitation only to be responsible financially. What jurisdiction are you in?

[RCM321]

I'm a single parent and I heard this from my father when I was going for custody. He saw this on Ophra and she had a guy on her show who was in the situation I described. It sounds crazy to me but thats what I was told.

[drcoastline]

RCM321 what you stated is absolutely true. I was told this by a lawyer friend about ten years ago who practices in NJ just prior to my daughter being born. This also holds true in other states as well. Never assume responsibility until a paternity test is performed as once you do you are bound even if the biological father is located. If the biological father doesn't step up and assume his responsibility you are stuck paying for his kid. However the courts will not necessarily and probably won't allow you to have any parenting rights or visitation. Just one more reason to start voting conservative (Republican although I do not necessarily agree with them in many situations at this time either) to change the courts. NJ has one of the most liberal and bias courts in the country and the NJ Supreme court is horrific. It will never get better until the pendulum swings in the other direction and the left looses power. In NJ the court looks at a man/father as a criminal and a checkbook to generate income.